Female section, Social relations
What Are The Consequences If I Disobey My Husband?
Question: What is the verdict of the Islamic scholars and righteous jurists in these issues:
- Zayd guides his wife to cover herself. Is it allowed or not to cover from the brother-in-law?
- Zayd’s wife refuses to cover herself, saying: “It is not forbidden within our family to cover oneself from such close relatives. Rather, this culture extends from the ancestors. I will never cover myself!” After this she gave examples regarding the household of other people, saying: “These people are not restricted to this way either, so why should I restrict myself?”
- The same people who are against covering oneself against such close relatives say that covering oneself is the basis of schism [fitna] and disorder [fasad]. Rather, they convince women into immorality by saying: “Such innovative ways can now break a household.” How is it that these persons think so immoral and what is at their discretion?
- Those who cover themselves from the brother-in-law and others get angry and even curse, saying: “This is a completely new culture.”
- Because of this, the wife says to her husband: “Issue the divorce [talaq] because I will never cover myself from them.” What then is the judgement on this wife? State and be rewarded.
Answer: Brothers-in-law, uncle-in-law [phupa, khalu] and cousins, all of these people are complete strangers to a woman. Instead, their affliction is more than the affliction of a complete male stranger as a male stranger is just shy when he comes to visit, whilst others do not fear this influence of socialising. A woman cannot thrust the sociality of a completely strange male and it fractures her respect as a result. And that is why, when the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) forbade being amongst strange women, a companion of Al-Ansar asked, “O Messenger of Allah! What is the judgement on the brother-in-law?” He said,
الْحَمْوُ الْمَوْتُ
“The brother-in-law is [like] death.”
Especially the see-through and shaping clothing that is now normal amongst women. Such thin clothes whereby the body becomes perceptible or that part of the head hair, neck, arm, wrist, stomach or shin is exposed. This is only particular for mahaarim people to whom marriage is always prohibited, other than that it is irrefutably strictly haram. And if a woman is presumably someone who takes herself to a degree of caution in these matters – wearing thick clothes from head to toe, except for her face, palms, soles, where the hair on her body is never visible. In this aspect, as soon as her husband forbids her from meeting these people and also gets angry, then meeting in this way is also prohibited. If the woman does not obey this, she will become entangled in the wrath of Allah. Until her husband remains angry, all her prayers will not be heard, the angels will continue to curse her. If she files for divorce, she will be a hypocrite [munafiqa]. Those who incite women in rebellion against their husbands are loved by the devil.
Hadith 1 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ثَلاَثَةٌ لاَ تُجَاوِزُ صَلاَتُهُمْ آذَانَهُمُ الْعَبْدُ الآبِقُ حَتَّى يَرْجِعَ وَامْرَأَةٌ بَاتَتْ وَزَوْجُهَا عَلَيْهَا سَاخِطٌ وَإِمَامُ قَوْمٍ وَهُمْ لَهُ كَارِهُونَ
Three whose prayer will not rise above their ears, the runaway slave until he does not return. And the woman sleeps whilst her husband is angry with her, and the person who leads a people to prayer and they are not satisfied with him because of his vice.
[Narrated by al-Tirmidhi[3] with soundness of Abu Umamah (Allah be pleased with him)]
[Narrated by al-Tirmidhi[3] with soundness of Abu Umamah (Allah be pleased with him)]
Hadith 2 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ثَلاَثَةٌ لاَ تَرْتَفِعُ صَلاَتُهُمْ فَوْقَ رُءُوسِهِمْ شِبْرًا رَجُلٌ أَمَّ قَوْمًا وَهُمْ لَهُ كَارِهُونَ وَامْرَأَةٌ بَاتَتْ وَزَوْجُهَا عَلَيْهَا سَاخِطٌ وَأَخَوَانِ مُتَصَارِمَانِ
There are three whose prayers reach no more than one hand above their heads. An imam who leads people when they are not satisfied with him and the woman who spent the night with her husband who is angry with her, and two brothers who have broken off contact.
[Narrated by Ibn Majah 971 and Ibn Hibban with a proper chain from Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him)]
Hadith 3 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ثلثۃ لایقبل اﷲ لھم صلوۃ ولاتصعدلھم الی السماء حسنۃ العبدالاٰبق حتی یرجع الی موالیہ فیضع یدہ فی ایدیھم والمرأۃ الساخط علیھا حتی یرضی والسکران حتی یصحو
Three whose prayers are never answered, nor will their good deeds soar; A runaway slave until he doesn’t return to his owner. And the woman whose husband is angry until he is satisfied and the drunkard until he is no longer drunk.
Three whose prayers are never answered, nor will their good deeds soar; A runaway slave until he doesn’t return to his owner. And the woman whose husband is angry until he is satisfied and the drunkard until he is no longer drunk.
Hadith 4 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ مُهَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ
When a woman sleeps whilst away from her husband’s bed, the angels then curse her until morning.
Hadith 5 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ان المرأۃ اذا خرجت من بیتھاوزوجہا کارہ لذلک لعنہا کل ملک فی السماء وکل شیئ تمر علیہ غیر الجن و الانس حتی ترجع
The woman who leaves the house whilst her husband disagrees, until she does not return, all the angels of heaven will curse her and apart from the Jinn and man, everything that passes by will curse her.
[al-Tabarani[16] in al-Awsat narrated it from Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with them)].
Hadith 6 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ایما امرأۃ سألت زوجھا الطلاق من غیر بأس فحرام علیہا رائحۃ الجنۃ
The woman who files for divorce without a legitimate reason from her husband, the fragrance of paradise is forbidden for her.
[Narrated by Ahmad,[8] Abu Dawud, al-Tirmidhi with soundness. And Ibn Majah,[9] Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim[10] narrated it on the conditions of authenticity of al-Bukhari and Muslim. And they all narrated in acceptance of ‘Uthman (Allah be pleased with him)]
Hadith 7 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ان المختلعات ھن المنافقات
Women who buy divorce from their husbands, they are hypocrites.
[Narrated by al-Tabarani[11] in al-Kabir with a sound chain of ‘Uqba b. ‘Amir (Allah be pleased with him)]
[Narrated by al-Tabarani[11] in al-Kabir with a sound chain of ‘Uqba b. ‘Amir (Allah be pleased with him)]
Hadith 8 till 11 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
من خبب علی امرئ زوجتہ او مملوکہ فلیس منا
Whoever turns his wife or his female slave against him is not from my community.
[Narrated by Ahmad,[12] al-Bazzar,[13] Ibn Hibban, and al-Hakim of Burayda, and said it to be authentic. And Abu Dawud[14] and al-Hakim with an authentic chain from Abu Hurayra. And al-Tabarani[15] in al-Awsat from Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with them)]
As to cursing and calling it a new culture, then this is mocking the judgment of Allah and His Messenger. Those people must worry about their faith, and holding on to their ongoing prohibited culture and referring to their ignorant ancestors is by Islamic law considered actually the nature of the pagans. It is all obligatory for them to repent. May Allah give virtuous success to the Muslims. And Allah knows best.
al-Imam Ahmad Raza Khan al-Qadiri al-Barelvi
22-Rabi al-Aakhir-1320 || ≈ 31-May-1320
al-‘Ataya al-Nabawiyyah fi’l-Fatawa al-Ridawiyyah: vol. 22, p. 216, #67-71
[1] Musnad Ahmad b. Hanbal: 4/149 and 153 – عن عقبہ بن عامر
[2] Sahih al-Bukhari: 2/787 – کتاب النکاح باب لایخلون رجل بامرأۃ الخ
[3] Jami’ al-Tirmidhi: 1/47 – ابواب الصلوٰۃ باب من ام قوما وہم لہ کارھون
[4] Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat: 10/80, 108 – Hadith number: 922 – عن جابر بن عبداللہ
[5] Sahih Ibn Khuzayma: 2/69 – Hadith number: 940
[6] Sahih al-Bukhari: 2/782 – کتاب النکاح باب اذا باتت المرأۃ مہاجرۃ فراش زوجہا
[7] Sahih Muslim: 1/464 – کتاب النکاح باب تحریم امتناعہا من الفراش زوجہا ا
[8] Musnad Imam Ahmad: 5/277 – عن ثوبان رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ
[9] Sunan Ibn Majah: p. 149 – کتا ب الطلاق کراھیۃ الخلع للمرأۃ
[10] Al-Mustadrak lil-Hakim: 2/200 – کتاب الطلاق کراہیۃ سوال الطلاق عن الزوج
[11] Al-Mu’jam al-Kabir: 17/339 – Hadith number: 935 – عن عقبہ ابن عامر رضی اللہ عنہ
[12] Musnad Imam Ahmad: 5/352 – عن بریدہ رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ
[13] Al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib with inter-reference to Ahmad, al-Bazzar and Ibn Hibban: 3/82 – کتاب النکاح
[14] Sunan Abi Dawud: 2/347 – کتاب الادب
[15] Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat: 5/420 – Hadith number: 4834
[16] Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat: 1/314 – Hadith number: 517
[16] Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat: 1/314 – Hadith number: 517
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