What Are The Consequences If I Disobey My Husband?
- Zayd guides his wife to cover herself. Is it allowed or not to cover from the brother-in-law?
- Zayd’s wife refuses to cover herself, saying: “It is not forbidden within our family to cover oneself from such close relatives. Rather, this culture extends from the ancestors. I will never cover myself!” After this she gave examples regarding the household of other people, saying: “These people are not restricted to this way either, so why should I restrict myself?”
- The same people who are against covering oneself against such close relatives say that covering oneself is the basis of schism [fitna] and disorder [fasad]. Rather, they convince women into immorality by saying: “Such innovative ways can now break a household.” How is it that these persons think so immoral and what is at their discretion?
- Those who cover themselves from the brother-in-law and others get angry and even curse, saying: “This is a completely new culture.”
- Because of this, the wife says to her husband: “Issue the divorce [talaq] because I will never cover myself from them.” What then is the judgement on this wife? State and be rewarded.
Answer: Brothers-in-law, uncle-in-law [phupa, khalu] and cousins, all of these people are complete strangers to a woman. Instead, their affliction is more than the affliction of a complete male stranger as a male stranger is just shy when he comes to visit, whilst others do not fear this influence of socialising. A woman cannot thrust the sociality of a completely strange male and it fractures her respect as a result. And that is why, when the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) forbade being amongst strange women, a companion of Al-Ansar asked, “O Messenger of Allah! What is the judgement on the brother-in-law?” He said,
[Narrated by al-Tirmidhi with soundness of Abu Umamah (Allah be pleased with him)]
Hadith 2 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ثَلاَثَةٌ لاَ تَرْتَفِعُ صَلاَتُهُمْ فَوْقَ رُءُوسِهِمْ شِبْرًا رَجُلٌ أَمَّ قَوْمًا وَهُمْ لَهُ كَارِهُونَ وَامْرَأَةٌ بَاتَتْ وَزَوْجُهَا عَلَيْهَا سَاخِطٌ وَأَخَوَانِ مُتَصَارِمَانِ
There are three whose prayers reach no more than one hand above their heads. An imam who leads people when they are not satisfied with him and the woman who spent the night with her husband who is angry with her, and two brothers who have broken off contact.
[Narrated by Ibn Majah 971 and Ibn Hibban with a proper chain from Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him)]
Three whose prayers are never answered, nor will their good deeds soar; A runaway slave until he doesn’t return to his owner. And the woman whose husband is angry until he is satisfied and the drunkard until he is no longer drunk.
Hadith 5 – The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) states:
ان المرأۃ اذا خرجت من بیتھاوزوجہا کارہ لذلک لعنہا کل ملک فی السماء وکل شیئ تمر علیہ غیر الجن و الانس حتی ترجع
The woman who leaves the house whilst her husband disagrees, until she does not return, all the angels of heaven will curse her and apart from the Jinn and man, everything that passes by will curse her.
[al-Tabarani in al-Awsat narrated it from Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with them)].
[Narrated by al-Tabarani in al-Kabir with a sound chain of ‘Uqba b. ‘Amir (Allah be pleased with him)]
 Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat: 1/314 – Hadith number: 517